Dating after loss parent

Once it may have seemed unimaginable- but here you are middle-aged and head over heels in love like a teenager.While you may be shocked that this has happened-no one is more shocked than your adult children.I was thirty-nine years old when my husband died unexpectedly in his sleep. He was my love, my rock, a crucial part of my life and our children’s future, and in an instant, he was gone.A few weeks after his death, I received a letter from my insurance company.I grieved plenty as my wife cycled through cancers ups and downs and I grieved plenty as our marriage cycled up and down. EVENTUALLY A NEIGHBOR INTRODUCED ME TO A GOOD FREIND OF HERS. I now feel guilty that I feel happiness so soon after her death. It didn't take a divorce to be single so I have alot of love still in my heart and I know that God did not mean for us to walk the face of the earth alone. At one time, you may have thought -I am so done with all this love stuff- too much pain!Now you find yourself sleepless, flushed, and unable to think of anything else.

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I've been spending quite a bit of time with my new girlfriend and so look forward to our conversations but worry that perhaps there will be long term ramifications To my actions and feel embarrassed that I have found such a wonderful person so soon after my wife's death. I Have Lost 2 husband's one of Cancer 15 yr"s ago & My Second Husband Nov.6 2010, Iam 56 now & Iam Very Very Lonley, But I dont know what to do or how to begin again! I've had the chance to go on a date today but caved to fear and nerves so I canceled the date.

That was just the start—we wound up dating for eighteen months.

And after I’d fallen in love and spent countless hours entwined in the connection with him, I decided to stop seeing him.

It seem's as if I live in one room & I cant seem to do anything but sit in this one room for over a yr. I Thought I was a strong woman, when my first husband had cancer we had been married 23 yr.s We had 3 beatiful daughter's But Curt my second husband Helped me raise my youngest but he was so funny & so postive about everything! With all the Bills, & Trying to do everything right! He totally understood and we decided to talk more over the phone and get to know each other better to make me feel more comfortable. WHEN MY HUSBAND PASSED AWAY WE HAD 2 LIL GIRLS AGES 4 AND 7 WE WENT TO GREIVING COUNSELING FOR A YEAR.

But Iam Just plain Lost & Waiting to screw something up! I know deep in my heart that I'm not ready for a serious relationship but need the company so terribly bad. BUT I FELT IT JUST MADE IT HARDER AND WORSER TO GET THREW.